just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
