Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
