What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
