If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
