Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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