wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
