yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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