I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
