so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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