is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
