found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
