I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
