p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
