honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
