tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
