i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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