I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
