I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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