Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
