you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
