Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
