Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
