yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
