Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
