I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
