i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize