So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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