Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
