the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
