How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
