the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
