I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
