you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize