Your mouth is God's brothel.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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