Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
