no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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