Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
