He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
