whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
