I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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