I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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