i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
