He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize