$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
