hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize