i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
