My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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