im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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