How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize