I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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