I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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