A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
