I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
