We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
