I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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