We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
