i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
