Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
