Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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