Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
