She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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