Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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