I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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